Dear Ralphie

"Dear Ralphie" (MmF, wimp husband) by c.w. cobblestone Dear Ralphie, I'm writing this letter to tell you what an incredible piece of ass your wife is! We're staying here in the Drake Hotel in sunny San Francisco, as you can tell by the stationery. We just finished making love for the third time, and I'm exhausted! Your wife is an animal, Ralphie! Too bad you're too much of a wimp to know about that side of her. Lisa suggested I write this letter to you so you wouldn't feel left out. I know it's not fair for you to have to stay home alone on your 10th wedding anniversary. But don't fret it, Ralph - we'll be back in two weeks! Meanwhile, you be sure to finish all the chores we gave you. I want my entire house and garage spotless by the time I come home. That includes cleaning the chimney. Meanwhile, while you're back in cold ol' Nebraska, working your little heart out for us, I thought you might like to know: we're having a wonderful time here in Frisco! Wish you were here! We went to see the Golden Gate Bridge today and had a nice little picnic in a park nearby. Then, later on, we went to the theatre and caught a play. Finally, we capped the night off with dinner at The Pelican. Spare no expense, right, Ralphie-boy? Especially when we're using your credit card! Thanks a million! Your wife looks so hot laying here on the bed in her little blue teddy. Lisa told me you bought it for her so she could wear it on our vacation. How sweet! Much obliged, Ralph: how did you know I like silk? I know you feel betrayed, Ralph. We were friends for a long time. But you have to understand: I'm crazy about Lisa! And you must admit: it sure wasn't hard for me to steal her away from you, was it? Things are going to work out, don't worry. Lisa tells me you've always had fantasies about another man fucking her - well, now you've got your wish! Was it everything you thought it would be? Personally, I can't understand how you can enjoy having people treat you like shit. But, what the hell - if you want to live your life as a slave, that's fine with me! It means I get to continue seeing Lisa without any guilt whatsoever! Ralph, I know it makes you sad because I'm fucking your wife. But just think of it this way: I'm helping to save your marriage! Lisa tells me you couldn't satisfy a blow-up doll with that little mouse-dick of yours. She'd probably end up leaving you if I wasn't around to satisfy her! So be thankful that I'm giving her the bone! Everything just makes sense, doesn't it? You have to admit: I've always been the dominant one in our friendship. You always followed me around like a little puppy dog. And Lisa has always had you pussywhipped! Everything is as it should be, Ralphie. I have to admit: I fell in love with Lisa from the first time I laid eyes on her. Do you remember? We were at the beach, and I spilled my beer all over Lisa's bathing suit. I guess I can tell you now: it wasn't an accident. I spilled the beer on purpose, so I'd have an excuse to wipe it off her tits! Lisa has a gorgeous set of tits, Ralphie-boy. I commend you on your taste in women! We have a little surprise for you, Ralphie: I took Lisa to a tattoo parlor, and she got a tattoo! She also got her belly-button pierced! I think it's really sexy. Lisa is a great woman, Ralph - she does anything I ask her to do. You blew it, Ralph. She would've been the same way with you, if you weren't such a wuss! Lisa likes to give in once in awhile. Women are like that, Ralph. You can't be a slobbering wimp and expect for a woman not to step on you. But then again, you like being stepped on. Go figure. Anyway, I just wanted to drop you a line to tell you that we've arrived safely, and are thoroughly enjoying ourselves here in California. We'll be back next Sunday. Be sure to meet us at the airport. Oh, and by the way: Happy Anniversary! Here's to another 10 years! Sincerly yours (and Lisa's), John p.s. Thanks for packing the motion lotion. Strawberry is my favorite flavor! I don't like the watermelon, though, so don't buy that flavor anymore. p.p.s.s. Lisa says don't forget to rearrange everything in her closets before we get back. 2910 1.23/512345